Family systems supports
This might be the most important process a family can do to empower their young adult!
The number one predictor of success is directly tied to the young adult’s ability to take self-efficacy, grit, executive functioning and turn it into daily habits and results.
This is a major part of what our Life Coaches work on. It starts with teaching our students how to think differently so they will intuitively know how to do differently. It is founded deeply in intrinsic motivators, self-efficacy, self-determination, grit, resiliency, positive psychology, flow theory, daily habits of success, and much more.
But one of the underlining challenges that plague many of our young adults is that they tend to still hold a strong child-like dependency for monetary, emotional needs and for their parents to solve problems for them.
The number one predictor of failure that can hinder or delay success — a parent who consciously or subconsciously keeps sending messages to their young adult child that may include:
A lack of belief that they cannot work through challenges on their own.
A parent needs to keep their child dependent upon them for their own personal needs.
A young adult who openly states, I like my parents paying for everything. Why would I want to do this on my own?
Since we started tracking outcomes in 2013, we find an 85% to 92% success rate based on the following: (numbers vary based on self-reported surveys from the student and each parent or family team member who may see things differently than others reporting on the same outcome).
Parents who learn simple, yet empowering, communication with their young adult child end up with sustainable long-term successful outcomes.
There must be a slow release of new responsibility that is young adult-focused based on age and current goals. This concept is simple in that yes, the professor in college might have done something wrong, but the real question is, did the student do their homework? Did the employee show up for work on time? Did the young adult make and keep an appointment?
There is a time-based process that can’t be cut short in order for the deeper internal roots to grow deep enough along with the power of habit to kick in. At times, a parent will think of their child, much like a broken-down car. Take the car to the mechanic, they fix it, and everything works again. This is not a realistic expectation.
The success rate drops to a very low chance of success when parents cannot change to empowerment language.
For the families that need it, we do over additional family intensive services!
A special note for families That have been involved in therapeutic treatment
There is a trend. Families that have gone through the journey of therapeutic treatment often think that Pacia Life should be like the other "programs" that you have experienced in the past.
Pacia Life is different by design.
We would like to invite you to a "transformational and empowerment way of thinking" instead of what you learned in the hospitals, rehabs, wilderness programs, boarding schools, etc.
We feel we can identify 3 reasons for this struggle:
Our students have a cell phone and can call their parents. Parents don't know how to handle these calls. In fact, most parents share that they felt relief in not having daily contact with their adult child even though they worried about them constantly.
Parents have been trained by previous programs to do behind the curtain calls. (See YouTube Video about investor calls). These calls used to be the right thing and now it is time to do the next step.
Many families need deeper family systems work. While family training and family intensives do cost extra, they are often the missing ingredient for success.
There are simple ways to identify a family system that needs deeper work.
Step 1: Intro Call
During the early steps of a new student arriving in any location, an introduction call with a parent coach happens where the role of the parent coach is explained, and some primary goals, history, and next session is set up.
"When we learn to think differently, we start to know what to do differently to get real-life results," - Randy Oakley
Statistically speaking, the number one thing that will slow down success is a parent or family system that dis-empowers the young adult. Most parents don't even know they are slowing the process down.
Family System Coaching and training has proven to speed up results! And, a parent that keeps repeating the old patterns can become the number one blockage to their child's success.
Keep treating your young adult as a child, and they will act like a child.
Step 2: Parent Tatori and the grand dream
During the first Parent Coach session, one of several topic's that is covered is what is the grand dream from the parent(s) for their young adult.
NOTE: The parent system's coach has goals and intentions that typically lead to higher outcomes for each young adult. They are not involved in giving student updates or in talking about what is happening in Pacia Life.
At times, the parent systems coach will engage both the parent(s) and the student. They will ask each party some different questions about how each of them sees their relationship with each other. And, more importantly, how each person wants their relationship to be in 6 months, two years, five years from now, etc.
Then, over time, the parent coach will determine if the parent(s) and student coaching (or therapy) can bring everyone together or if more family intensive work needs to be initiated.
Step 3: Student tatori and the grand dream in the family relationships
The parent coach talks with each student (and sometimes at least one coach) to discuss the student personal grand dream as it relates to their own family.
What type of relationship do they desire in the present and the future? Does the student feel great about their current relationship(s), would they like to change anything, is there healing that needs to take place, would they like their parent(s) to pay for all of their bills or would they like their more independence? Many areas are explored!
Step 4: Parent empowerment coaching
During the next several family system's coaching sessions, a number of topics and areas of young adult empowerment are explored. Many of the goals and topic's worked on are specific to the individual desires and needs of each student and family.
step 5: bringing it all together - the investor calls
Typically, in week number six to twelve, each student begins their first investor phone calls and begin to give their "investors" or parents direct updates with their lead coaches on what is happening, what is working and what is not working.
The family system coach often joins the call with a Pacia LIfe coach, student, and parent(s).
Step 5: Where do we go from here?
At this stage, the family systems coach, parent(s) and the student explore what needs to be done going forward. Many time, the parent coach begins to drop off at this point.
However, families that need additional help and resources can explore family system training, family intensives, and other options. While there may be additional cost involved for these services we have found that the additional time and investment on the front end often lead to higher results in a shorter length of time overall.
family trainings and intensive work
From time to time, we can identify parents that need more training or intensive supports. Typical signs may include:
A parent who asks for help.
Parents who can't agree on parenting styles.
A parent who is needing additional phone calls, especially at night or on weekends.
A parent that is experiencing separation anxiety from their young adult child.
A parent that feels the need to talk to their young adult child daily.
A parent who needs to do everything for their young adult child.
There is an additional cost for these customized services, and the exact pricing is dependent upon the location of the student and recommendation from the family systems coach.